W.A.L.T recall events through the eyes of an animal
Success Criteria
I know I will be successful when my recount has a
- Title
- Orientation: When? Who? Where? Why?
- Sequence of events: What happened? Describe using the senses (hear, taste, see, smell and feel).
- Personal Comment: How did the events make you feel?
First Draft
The animal battle
It’s a beautiful day in south Africa. We were lying out in the nice afternoon in the sun waiting for some buffalos to come so we can eat them up because we are hungry!. But we are going to chase the calf buffalo because it’s week at running.When the buffalos come we are all going to hunt down one of the buffaloes.when we got the baby buffalo the crocodile tried to take my family's lunch.
(The Buffalos And LIONS)
Some little and big calves were walking down my river bank . And we were waiting and waiting for them to come closer and closer then we will hunt one of them but we are going after the small one because It’s Week at running but we are fast at running. We are excited to go and get the calv. Yeay!! we got the calve let’s eat now. Guys we can’t eat if a crocodile is trying to steal our dinner. Me and my brothers are going to have a of fight with the crocodile. We won we can eat now. I hear something stomping. I see a herd of buffalo coming to us. I think they came because we ate one of the buffalos. I am trying to run away because a herd of buffalos are chasing me. I thourt i was going to die. I smell buffalos . When me and my brothers ate one of the buffalos it tasted like deelishis. My brothers are get hurt from the buffalos i might go and save them before my mum and dad come and go ruff on the buffalos. I saved my brothers.… The END.
Well Done aisa,Have you put unaf ifmashis.
ReplyDeleteAwesome Aisa, you have painted a picture in my head and it is a good inspiration of how I can fix my writing as well. But what you could do next time is that you could check your spelling and you could add some more detail into it. But I really liked it I will definitely visit your blog again.
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