This is my first draft. We have been learning about space chimps for writing. We had to write stuff about the space chimp. Like how it landed on earth and how he woke up in space. I have been working hard on writing this story. I am proud of myself because I put lot of details in my story.
W.A.L.T write a narrative
Success Criteria
I know I will be successful when….
- The title is suitable for the text.
- The orientation tells who the story is about, and when and where the story happened.
- The complication describes a problem and explains what happened next.
- The resolution explains how the problem was solved.
- Seeks feedback and makes changes to texts to improve clarity and meaning.
5.4.3.2.1 BANG!!!! The rocket ship went up into space I have left this planet. I have woken up, finally I'm in space. I was chosen from all the other chimps to go in the rocket to space in 1961. I was in space sleeping for 65 years, then I woke up and there were stars everywhere around me.
My name is Isaac and i'm a space chimp. All those years ago I had a trainer and my trainer’s name was Ollie. I have lost him I have been trying to find him. Back in 1961 I was very little but now I am very old.
Back in 1961 all chimps said that I was precious to them, but I had to go up into space . While I was in space I could see a blue and green planet it might be earth. I have been waiting for this moment I am ready to land. I miss my chimps from 1961.
However the problem was that I got sent to space. I want to go back to my old planet. I think I got sent to space so that I can find my owner. He might be in earth I hope he is. I decided to go back to my old planet earth. I can’t wait to land.
While I was in space there were no air but I could still breath because i'm in the rocket ship the beautiful sunshine lighted up in my face I am very cold but now i’m hot.I have survived in space lucky me. Ahhhhhhhh!!!!! I’m shaking I think it’s a earthquake it looks like I have not survived yet.My rocket ship is Braking as i fly back through earths atmosphere.
My rocket ship is broken.I'm in a country in earth I can see nobody it’s like they hate me or something. There is one tear coming down my eye I am so sad I can't find my owner nobody is here .It’s scary and freaky and very cold. I hope I find my owner. I think all people have left this country. It is boring here there are only buildings and trees.
My name is Isaac and i'm a space chimp. All those years ago I had a trainer and my trainer’s name was Ollie. I have lost him I have been trying to find him. Back in 1961 I was very little but now I am very old. I live in a different planet it is better than this planet because it has more people. There are broken buildings and this country is a this earth is Destroyed. It’s boring here because there are no one here, they probably hiding I feel like i'm in a destroyed book There are
I hate this country it looks like i'm going have to live here without food or drink. This country is damaged I wish I was in a different country there are no leaves on the tree. The sky is grey .
I am always going to remember my chimps. And I am always going to remember the year I was little in 1961. I miss my family I hope they're having fun. I will come back to my old planet. There might be animals in this country. I hope my chimps come to this country in earth. I will try to find a airplane to fly to a another country that has food and drink and trees with leaves and building that are not Destroyed and with nice blue and white sky.
